Grit and Glittr
Currently catching up on Season 2 of Battlestar, Season 2 of Teen Wolf, and Book 2 of Avatar. I liveblog Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Elementary, under read-more and tagged for spoilers.
My fandoms: Angel, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Battlestar Galactica, Being Human (US), Bones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cardcaptor Sakura, Castle, Coupling, CSI (Las Vegas), Cowboy Bebop, Dexter, Doctor Who, Dollhouse, Dragonriders of Pern, Dresden Files, Elementary, Escaflowne, The Finder, Firefly/Serenity, Game of Thrones, Good Omens, Grimm, Harry Potter, Hawaii Five-0, House, Inception, Legend of the Seeker, Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, Marvel movieverse, Merlin, Monk, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, Neil Gaiman, Neon Genesis Evangelion, the Old Kingdom, Once Upon a Time, Psych, Quantum Leap, Scrubs, Sherlock, Smash, Stargate SG-1/Atlantis/Universe (RIP), Studio Ghibli, Suits, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Torchwood, Touch, Warehouse 13
Still need to see: Alphas, Community, Eureka, Fullmetal Alchemist, Justified, Legend of Korra, Lost Girl, Veronica Mars
An 8-year-old girl camper began swimming near the edge of the pool by me. She was a tiny girl with a bubbly personality, and she was very attached to me. Upon seeing us talking, the boy swam over and started chasing her around the water. It was clear from the way she was trying to get away from him and her screeching that she wanted to be left alone — her body language and tense demeanor should have showed that she was uncomfortable — but if that wasn’t enough of a clue, the “stop” she yelled in protest should have been enough for him to go away.
That’s when it really hit me how serious the situation was. I could immediately picture it escalating. I didn’t see an 8-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy anymore; I saw the two of them as fully grown and matured adults. The girl was still small and skinny, and the boy was large enough to overpower her with little effort. I could see her running away from him, trying to push off his advances in a more sexual situation, but him refusing to believe that she really wanted him to stop. I saw him ignoring her physical protests right along with the verbal ones, convinced she wanted him there. It horrified me.
I reprimanded him immediately, insisting that when someone asks you to stop, it’s important to listen. Almost seconds later, a male counselor standing by the same section of the pool told him not to listen to me and to continue his pursuit of this little girl, despite her obvious protests. Here were two boys, roughly 10 years apart in age, but with the same views on women: that consent doesn’t matter. It’s not a generational thing: this mindset has clearly been ingrained into the public psyche from an early age. How often are we told not to take no for an answer? How often do we see children pestering their parents about getting a new toy until they eventually give in? How often do we hear about a woman’s whims coming with her menstrual cycle? How often do we see on television shows and in movies a woman “changing her mind” about a man who is persistent enough or who just proves himself worthy? The idea that a woman will change her mind is so ingrained that we can’t always recognize it at first.
Jackie Klein, A Lesson In Consent For All Ages, (via feminspire)
Please teach your kids, especially your sons, from an early age to respect others space and bodies.
(via face-down-asgard-up)
(via callmebaddog)
And then I debated whether or not to put it on Tumblr…but I decided it was important. Because in my own way, I can (unfortunately) point out exactly what is wrong with men when they don’t realize how hard it is to be a woman. How we do not have equal opportunities and freedoms in everyday life….
shit, now i feel bad for being a guy
isn’t that the whole point of this story? to remind guys of how awful they are?
because there were some assholes on a train
the concept that anytime somebody hits on you it’s because they’re a horrible person is a dumbass concept
at no point did she ever answer the question proposed, “what are you reading?”…if she had said calmly (as opposed to loudly and firmly) “i’m reading *blah blah title* would you please leave me to it” or something of the sort, it could’ve possibly gone better, instead of bluntly and loudly saying “LEAVE ME ALONE” as if they were groping her….and even if that didn’t work, and they still acted like pricks…why should i feel bad for what THEY did? should i apologize and accept that my life is rainbows and excellence because i have a dick?
so yeah, those teenagers were assholes, and the bicycle guy was a psychopath…sounds like your train runs through a shitty neighborhood…doesn’t mean i should loathe myself
———
No, see…
This is the one time you don’t get to make it all about you.
This is where you say, “Wow, I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I’m sorry you had to experience that, and now I have a better perspective on what women face and will never do that to a woman.”
Way to miss the point.
The point is that we have no fucking idea if the person we say, “No thank you,” or, “I’d like to be left alone, please,” to is going to be a guy that says, “Oh, sure. Sorry for bothering you!” and steps away kindly or the kind that gets in our faces and threatens us screams at us. And most of the time, it’s not worth it to take that risk.
We have to treat everyone like the latter because if we don’t, and we’re caught off guard, then whatever happens to us is always our fault. If we’re not nice, we’re bitches. If we’re too nice, we’re asking for whatever we get.
Women don’t owe you anything, least of all an apology. We don’t owe you the time of day, we don’t owe you a conversation, we don’t owe you an explanation.
If you read a story like that and all you can say is, “Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me for being male!” then you’re part of the fucking problem.Exactly.
See, I am a female and I have a problem with this.
It is feminists like you that generalise all males into one group. Not all males are the same. That person could have generally been interested in the book being read. Females as a whole do NOT have to be defensive 24/7. NOT every guy out there is an ass hole. NOT every single guy is going to stand there and abuse you or harass you or grope you. How about being nice for a change instead of making out that horrible things will happen if you are nice to a male or if you let a male ‘put one over you’.
Ease up and stop being so damn ‘hard done by’.
No one has a right to anyone’s time, space, or attention. The sooner people stop blaming victims for being human & not being a walking nursemaid for stranger’s egos the better. What is wrong with you people that you think women don’t have a right to set boundaries even if other people don’t like them?
“That person could easily have been interested in the book being read.”
People who are genuinely interested in the book and have no other agenda or sense of entitlement to a woman’s time DON’T REACT LIKE THIS. How is yelling and ranting and sexist slurs and invading personal space not a HUGE fucking overreaction to being told to leave a stranger alone?
[W]hen men come forward to complain that they would totally act right if women would just say no “correctly,” they are lying. The idea that you could somehow make your harassment less gropey and upsetting or your rape less rapey, if you would stop being so inscrutable and just explain to the poor clueless dear in terms that he’ll understaaaaaaaaaaand is beyond. fucked. up.
This sets up a world where men can do whatever they want until they hear a “no” that they choose to interpret as being “real,” and sets up any damage done up until that point as being the victim’s fault. The victim is not controlling the interaction, the harasser is choosing to harass. What possible advantage is there in making it the victim’s responsibility to convince their harasser “Oh no, kind sir, please stop?” or they must have deserved what they got? If you’re really invested in the “why are women such cowards who don’t say no clearly enough” narrative, ask yourself, why are you so interested in maintaining a shield of plausible deniability for sketchy people doing sketchy things to women?
elodieunderglass:
Not surprisingly, I have a story? It’s pretty long, and I’m sorry. My husband, Doctor Glass, recently went on a weeklong workshop. The participants worked on teams, slept in a dormitory, shared meals and spent all day together. While there, Dr Glass acquired a strikingly…
(via sinshine)
- Sherlock fan artist: *draws a comic with graphic depiction of rape*
- Sherlock fans: Fuck! That is not cool. Rape is terrible and you are trivializing it with that. Please stop.
- A fuck ton of people: Fuck you! How dare you call that rape! And even if it is rape, it is just a comic! God get over yourselves!
- Sherlock fans: Um... No, rape is terrible.
- Fuck ton of People: *defends rape or declares themselves to be rapists*
- No longer part of the fandom: Fuck this, we're out and blocking all you rapists.
- 90% of the fandom: Fuck you! *sends rape threats via anon* *harasses them* *Applauds rapists*
- Harassment victims: Fuck this fandom and everyone in it.
- Other 10%: Guys, can't we all just get along. We're not ALL like that! Stop being mean the fandom! You should be nicer to people who are threatening to rape you! *makes zero effort to actually support the people being harassed* *pours all their energy into defending themselves as not being terrible*