Grit and Glittr

pervocracy:

ann-tagonist:

I recently realised that I actually think all PIV is rape. If I use my definition (weaponization of the penis), then consensual intercourse still falls under that. Even if you like it. Even if you have an orgasm. You can’t consent to being assaulted, after all. The physical…

5) This charming little intellectual exercise is really disgustingly disrespectful of people who’ve survived actual rape.

I’ve experienced PIV and I’ve experienced sexual assault. Pretty goddamn different experiences. How DARE you tell me that being assaulted was morally equivalent to warm happy snuggly sex with my boyfriend.

You can’t consent to assault because consent is the thing that makes it not assault anymore.

I also want to point out that classifying all penises as always weapons is massively, unforgivably transmisogynist.

It is also telling that so many of the people who embrace this line of argument accept without challenge the very concept of PIV sex as penetration. I believe that OP thinks they are trying to empower (cis) women by freeing them from the tyranny of patriarchal experiences of sex, but trying to make all PIV sex rape is such a backwards way to go about it. There are reasons that this sex act isn’t widely known as “engulfing” or “accepting” or “inviting.” Can we perhaps consider those reasons, and that summarily increasing the threat level of penises doesn’t take away any power from men but in fact gives them more, while degendering trans women and reducing the agency of all women to claim their own subjective experiences as real and significant?

I understand that “because I like it” feels like a weak argument but it is actually really important. It’s not the only thing that matters—I do give some weight to social forces constraining what choices individuals are even able to conceive of as possible—but dismissing it altogether does a huge disservice to the real people affected by all this theorizing.

I reject OP’s authority to define MY sexual experience.

Claiming that all PIV sex emphasizes women’s “fuckhole status” or whatever is merely a continuation of rape culture, plain and simple, and cissexist to boot. This entire tired line of reasoning that should have died out a long time ago damages women a lot more than any enjoyable sex act between consenting adults ever could.